Not Entrepreneur Anymore
* THIS POST IS JUST ABOUT ME.
*ENLEN, THE COMPANY I CO-STARTED IS RUNNING WELL AND I STILL GET UPDATES FROM THE OTHER 2 FOUNDERS OF THE COMPANY. ONLY I AM NOT PART OF IT ANYMORE.
109 days is the time since I last blogged. I started blogging when I took the entrepreneurial path but it was not deliberate. I needed an outlet to talk about the difference in life outside the cubicle and blogging served me well. The pride of walking through uncharted territory, the childhood like freedom, the slow realization that money and status are over-valued, admiration from a few and equal disapproval from a few others, the small mistakes and the joy of learning from them, learning to live with little money and still getting things done, being optimistic in spite of all odds; everything was something I needed to share with the world.
And now, all of that is past. I am back where I was before I started. I no more plant trees. I no more work towards bettering the state of our planet. I no more talk business. I am no more a change agent. I no more am an entrepreneur.
Why did I quit? Typical pressures that most startuppers face. Societal, parental, monetary pressures. My best friends didn’t think I would break under pressure. But I did break. More than everything else, somewhere along the line, I lost sight of the purpose for which I really had started out. Now, I am just looking for a little bit of peace. I don’t want to think about money, I don’t want any more of the ‘where are you headed?’ question. Working for someone else seemed a good option now.
Working for others has a unique character. I can now work for 12 hours straight with full dedication, come back home and forget the office entirely until the next morning. I can just do one thing at a time. Sometimes, monotonicity feels better. It is just a change in perspective that is required. In my earlier avatar as employee, I used to think about salary hikes, leaves, working hours and office politics. Now, all I think is whether I am doing a good job or not. Instead of thinking about tomorrow, I am just trying to live in the present. To just do my job and do it well.
Most of my friends ask me; whether I’ll start something again? Ever? My answer is; I’ll fix myself first. Then I’ll think about fixing the world. I don’t feel ready yet.
July 6th, 2010 at 6:25 PM
Hey….it is nice to see ur blog again….Yeah u r right ashwin we have to fix ourself first….
July 7th, 2010 at 4:17 AM
Hey Ashwin,
Sad to know things didn’t worked much the first time, but I know surely you would have learnt many things which will count has experience in your life. Sometimes the best ideas won’t work because of right time – Take for example, if google or twitter or facebook would have come up with the idea in 1900′s then surely they would have struggled a lot to come to this level. Life is rat race where each day things has to be learned and as someone said, “there are no mistakes in life only lesson learnt!” – would be true.
The RAT RACE LIFE!!!
“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up knowing it must run faster than the lion or be killed. Every morning, a lion awakens knowing it must outrun the slowest gazelle or starve to death. It doesn’t matter if you are a lion or a gazelle. When the sun comes up, you’d better be running”
Chinese poem which said,
Go to the people
Live among them
Love them
Listen to them
Begin with what they know
Build upon what they have.
Keep blogging! Have a good time!!
Regards,
Anand
July 11th, 2010 at 8:52 PM
Good post dude !! You dont need to be fixed dude.. neither the world !
There is beauty to be found in chaos.. in randomness !! Its all bout enjoying the phase you are in
August 1st, 2010 at 11:16 AM
Thanks Anand, Ashwini, vinay and everyone else for your good words. And sorry for disappointing many of you. But the good thing is, Anil and Suraj still have the fire going and I am sure they will lead the company to success.
In time, I will be back.